Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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