You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
either way he was missing a nipple.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
