i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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