sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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