i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
