I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize