Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
In America we eat man semen.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from