Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.

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(248): View more from Michigan

You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(786): View more from Florida

If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up

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(907): View more from Alaska

I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.

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