come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
