do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
