when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you would pick up someone in the library
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
