bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
