i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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