Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
