How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
