Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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