dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think your dad took our porno
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I love you.
Bad choice
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize