Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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