Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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