I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
