I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
