okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
