Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i was born a porn star she said
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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