this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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