I'm lost and stupid without you.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
