is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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