i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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