You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
