Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
