idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
