Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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