Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
this is an emotional support booty call
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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