So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
