I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize