Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
