When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
honey bunches of taint.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
