whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize