Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
