we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sponge bath it is.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
