Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
