Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Drunk is a universal language darling
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
