Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
