I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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