yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
