I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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