Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
