I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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