i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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