just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
