How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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