Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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