ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
