the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
