why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
