I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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