Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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