brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
