I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
