these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
