My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
