dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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