i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
