Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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